You want to feel more alive in the life you’re building (…but worry you never will).

this is the place to start:

You’ve had business coaching, been on personal development seminars, read the books, listened to countless podcasts… and it’s all been interesting, inspiring, illuminating.

But somehow you still feel the same underneath it all.

…wondering why you don’t feel happier. More content. More fulfilled.

Desperately wanting to feel more alive in the life you’re building, but worried you never will.

Well - here’s the missing piece:

You have to go back to the beginning. To your childhood.

And I know, I know …you’ve likely heard that before.

But this is what I see.

Either you haven’t done this work yet, because:

• You didn’t know you needed to.

• It scares you.

• Or maybe because you think ‘I had a great childhood, so there’s nothing to look at’.

Or you’ve talked around the edges, but haven’t truly gotten to the root of your blind-spots yet.

Or maybe you’ve actually done the work, but it’s been an intellectual exercise. You haven’t fully embodied it, so your life hasn’t changed yet.

But the truth is, if you don’t really commit to this part of the process, you’ll spend your whole life swimming in the shallows.

Feeling disconnected. Stuck. Lacking clarity.

Knowing something isn’t right, but not really understanding why.

There are different layers to this process. And stick with me.

We are going to go through some vital distinctions and insights before we get into the practical work.

You may have experienced some big-T trauma. Things that you recognise impacted you in a major way. Maybe you’ve already done a lot of work around this, or possibly it’s something you’re still trying very hard to ignore, but you know it’s there. This is, of course, important work. But today that’s not what I want to focus on.

I want to talk about the much more subtle wounds we develop.

They can be so small, so ordinary, so insidious that you didn’t really realise they were happening.

Not at the time, and likely not even now.

But it’s in these moments that we began to disconnect from ourselves.

It’s where we learned to abandon ourselves.

Here’s what happens:

As children, we are profoundly dependent on our parents or caregivers. We need them for love, safety, protection, food and care. So it is quite literally life or death for us to gain and keep their love and approval.

So no wonder our little brains are incredibly sensitive and attuned to what does and doesn’t make our parents happy. What gets us attention. Love. Praise…

And we also learn the opposite. Which parts of us, which behaviours, are deemed inconvenient, inappropriate, unacceptable, too much, unlovable.

And because belonging in our families is so vital to our survival, without our conscious awareness, we adapt.

We suppress parts of who we are.

We disown the parts that weren’t approved of.

We abandon ourselves to become who we believed we needed to be.

And we do such a good job of pushing certain parts of us down, that we don’t even realise they’re a part of us anymore.

But this process impacts us deeply.

It’s a disconnection from ourselves, from our true essence, and it shapes how comfortable we feel within our own skin, and how much we actually like ourselves.

One of the first steps in healing is to recognise these disowned parts and integrate them back into ourselves. Without judging, fixing, guilt or shame.

It’s a remembering of who you were before you learned that certain parts of you weren’t acceptable.

As you do this work, how you feel within yourself begins to change.

You’ll feel more present. More embodied. More you.

It can feel like you are coming home to yourself. Like you’re no longer at war with parts of who you are.

It’s the first step to return to wholeness.

And this is where so much becomes possible.

Because when you begin to live from a place of wholeness, your worth, self-acceptance, self-love, presence and fulfilment no longer have to come from outside of you.

You begin to know who you are.

What you want.

What matters to you.

Your goals and your life begin to feel like yours.

You stop constantly comparing yourself to other people and start recognising your own gifts, your own values, your own path.

I could go on and on. But you get the picture. It’s a beautiful place to be.

So how do you actually begin this process?

There are many ways.

And if you want to go deeply into this work, having a safe space held for you can be incredibly powerful.

But there are some questions I would love you to begin with.

Sit with them slowly.

Not to find the “right” answer.

Not to blame yourself or your parents.

Not to dig for trauma.

Just to become curious.

Ask yourself:

• Whose love did you crave more, your mother’s or your father’s?

• Who did you have to be to receive their love, attention and approval?

• Who could you not be around them? (as it was disapproved of, unacceptable, punished)

…this will start to give you an idea of which aspects of your personality were accentuated, and which were hidden. Be gentle with yourself. We are just looking for awareness at this stage.

Then begin to notice:

Which parts of yourself have you already begun to express again? And which parts might you want to bring into the light now? Even if it’s just in private, which parts of you could you begin to reconnect with?

Once you’ve really sat with that, I would go on to ask yourself one more question:

• Whose approval am I seeking now?

Or

• Who do I not want to disappoint?

Really sit with this one, because the answer can reveal so much.

Why you do what you do.

Why you struggle to make decisions.

Why you don’t always know what you want.

Why you can achieve everything you thought you wanted and still feel strangely unfulfilled.

And sometimes, the person whose approval you’re still chasing isn’t even in the room anymore.

But the pattern is. Their voice is. The conditioning is.

So this is where the deeper work begins.

Not by becoming someone new.

But by coming back to the parts of yourself you had to leave behind.

Out of the shallows.

And into the depths.

Back to yourself.

More truth. More aliveness. More you.

If this resonates, stirs something within you, or makes you want to lean in in a deeper way, let me know.

Click the ‘book your call’ button below to send me a message, book a connection call, or email me at hello@heidibrown.co.uk

What others are saying…

Hi. I’m Heidi.

Coach. Healer. Guide.

My hope for myself and my clients is to live a life of joy, adventure and purpose. Whether that be through work that’s deeply meaningful, cultivating fulfilling relationships, ambitious travel or simply being present to the awe and wonder we can create in our everyday lives. My intention is to (re)awaken you to the possibility and promise of experiencing life as your truest self.

A little piece of my story:

The first 14 years of my career were spent building a thriving Chiropractic practice. I loved everything about it; the philosophy, the art, the lifestyle … but my struggles with self-confidence and worth left me feeling hollow and inadequate, no matter what I achieved. 

I attended countless seminars searching for the key that was going to ‘fix’ me, but it wasn’t until a week-long retreat in Ireland in 2017 that things significantly started to shift. My inner healing dramatically accelerated and life and business got a whole lot more fun.

As I started to align more congruently with who I am at my core, it became clear that I wanted to offer my work in a different way. I sold my Chiropractic business in 2020 to focus all my energy into coaching.

I love that I get to work with Healers and Conscious Entrepreneurs, being a part of their journey toward a deeper authenticity and truth. Through 1:1 coaching, group programmes and retreats I’ll gently challenge you to go within to identify and transform your blocks and limiting patterns, so you can ultimately express more of yourself and uncover more of your gift. 

This is our one life. Let’s really live it!!